The Sacrament of Marriage

Marriage Preparation

Preparation for Marriage is far more than just the gathering of required documents. At the heart of responsible marriage preparation stands the opportunity for you to seriously reflect in a comprehensive and challenging way on the meaning of this important step in your lives. While reflection and in-depth sharing of your future together has undoubtedly already begun, we offer further opportunities for you to reflect on your lifelong journey with each other.

First, we require each couple to complete a communication study tool called FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study) and meet with a marriage and family counselor. This questionnaire is designed to assist you in being attentive to the areas in your relationship which need development, and to affirm you in those areas of strength. You should plan to take FOCCUS at your initial meeting with the Priest. We then we ask that each couple review the results of the questionnaire with our Marriage Counselor. This appointment should be scheduled upon completion of the FOCCUS questionnaire. Couples may meet up to 3 times with the Marriage Counselor to address issues raised by FOCCUS. The cost of these meetings is listed on the attached schedule of stipends.

Second, we require each couple to participate in an Engaged Encounter Weekend Retreat. The Retreats generally run from 7 p.m. Friday through 3 p.m. Sunday. They are held at various locations in the Los Angeles/Santa Barbara area. Because of their popularity, they are generally booked up two to three months in advance. You should make arrangements to complete the Retreat as soon as possible, but no less than three months before your planned wedding date.

What else should we be doing to prepare best for our sacrament?

Our ministry at the parish is to assist you as an engaged couple. The most important part of your preparation for marriage is your own relationship with Christ the Lord, who leads and guides you through life. You are encouraged, therefore, to pray for the graces and strength to respond generously to God's call to the vocation of Marriage. The required steps for marriage preparation should be viewed not so much as goals to be accomplished but as challenges to grow in the practice of your faith.

Because of the importance of this sacrament for the Church, and realizing the many tensions and conflicts which arise in our busy lives today, participating in the life of the Church by being faithful to Mass is necessary for a healthy and lasting marriage. The Lord taught us, "without me, you can do nothing." Our entire happiness and security is always found in being faithful to the Lord.

The celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) is highly recommended for all who share the Catholic Faith as part of your spiritual preparation for marriage. Confessions are regularly scheduled Monday through Saturday at times listed in the parish bulletin. Please note that confessions are not celebrated at the time of the rehearsal.

For further information on the Sacrament of Marriage here at St. Monica Parish, please click on the links to the right.